Applying for jobs...to the glory of God

Interesting experience blogging today. Earlier, I had written a post that focused on my recent experience applying for jobs. The process had been such a hassle and I needed to vent out my frustrations. Funny how that works, I began writing about how my day started off so horribly, and then found myself transitioning into God's well laid out plan that brought me straight into his arms.

¹⁴ Do everything without grumbling or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky ¹⁶ as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. ¹⁷ But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸ So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

-Philippians 2: 14-18

I hit the backspace key and began to write a brand new post. Here it is:

This morning was pretty difficult. I woke up and became instantly overwhelmed by the task at hand: job hunting! As soon as I began thinking this way, I started to let my mind wander into all the related areas I was frustrated about...

• zero leads or callbacks from prospective employers, 
• tailoring my resume and cover letters to fit every job I apply for,
• not using my time wisely, 
• chronic pain,
• unrealistic expectations, etc. 

Basically, I became engrossed in my self-pity. The best part was when I convinced myself that not even the gas station down the street would hire me because I wouldn't be a "good fit" for their company. Those of you who know me understand why I am not the biggest fan of that phrase. Yeah, I convinced myself I could not work at a gas station, and just like in the movies, I threw the sheets over my head and cried. Now, that I think back, I was pretty ridiculous.

Suddenly,  I remembered the task I had committed to last week, something I knew I needed to do before completing anything else this morning. Memorize Romans 6! Grudgingly, I told myself, I don't have time for this- I need to sit in my bed and sulk for the rest of the day! Thankfully, the Lord knew my need and graciously answered my prayer to get motivated. I got out of bed, made some scrambled eggs and spinach pancakes and opened the good book to Romans 6.

At first, the words were discombobulated and fuzzy. I couldn't make any sense of the chapter and nothing was sticking in my head. Frustrated, I closed my Bible, put my head on the table and began to cry again. I thought, what's the point God, I can't even understand your word or retain a cohesive thought in my head. Might as well just give it up for the day. Thank the Lord, for He is patient and understanding. He knew I needed comforting and some extra time to sulk. This made me realize I desperately needed to invest time in this chapter, even if that meant staying in one sentence for the rest of the morning. I prayed that He would clear my head and remove all the distractions from my mind. I opened my Bible and began to read...not memorize, just read.

It wasn't magic. My head was still fuzzy, but as I kept reading, the words began to make sense- the concepts became clear- and the memorization started to happen. God's word began to flow through my veins like no other truth had done before. My response, was a heart of joy and gladness. I can't explain it, but it definitely wasn't the typical- "I'm feeling better" moment. It was a- "I know my God is bigger than this, and I have a hope that is non-conditional, which is giving me strength during this time of need" -moment. No self help book can give you that kind of peace.

I am now 11 verses into the chapter. That may not seem like a lot to some people, but as I am memorizing I am trying not get wrapped up in the technique, rather allow the power of God's word to infiltrate my heart while nourishing my mind with His truth. Memorization is happening in a completely different way then I expected. It's not quit the same as reciting a skit, or even Bible verses for Awana. This is totally different and I'm starting to understand that now =)

After this attitude change, I realized I wanted to apply for jobs again. Not in a grudging way, but so that, by filling out applications and submitting resumes, I would be doing so in obedience to the King. 1 Corinthians 10:31 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." Right away, I found an open position, and began the application process that took approx. 4 1/2 hours to complete! I don't think I've ever worked so hard on one job application- but it was worth it. It looks like there is a sense of urgency on their part, so I am praying for a quick call back and will hopefully get an interview.

Sooooooooooooooo this post was supposed to be about the stress of looking for a job...

¹⁷ But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸ So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. 

;)