Learning & Pursuing

Thank the Lord, I finally have the desire to write again. This was supposed to be one of my New Year's Resolutions- to blog, write and journal more. I did not want to start this process only to call myself a diligent writer, rather, so that I could make it a habit of documenting my life circumstances and enjoy watching the Lord complete His work in the lives of others as well as my own. I haven't been doing a great job of this, but starting is always an indication of a heart that is willing to be diligent and obedient.

So here's what I'm going to write about. Nothing crazy or super exciting. Just some things that God has been teaching me in 2011...wait, I take it back, this IS exciting =)

Recently, I have been studying the old testament and learning from the ways of God's chosen people. One repetitive theme: the people of God were always in doubt of His promises, and turned to other idols for their worship and pleasure. The Israelites are probably our best example of a people who plainly saw the work of a Holy God, and when times got hard, they strayed from their knowledge of Him.

There are many examples in the Bible about people who were obedient to the Lord, but later became consumed by their passions and sinful desires to follow other gods. Solomon, is one of the most well known example of this lifestyle. As a king, Solomon was not only the wealthiest, but the also wisest man that lived during that time. "The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart" (1 Kings 10:24). He was also the king who led Israel to complete the building of the magnificent temple first conceived by his father David. Unfortunately, as Solomon aged he become less devoted to his God and more consumed with the pleasures of this world. He was married, and yet, took over 1,000 women into his bed chamber, and brought many foreigners into his land to build idols, temples and godless alters- all of which he worshiped of his own accord.

At this point, I was disgusted with Solomon and on the brink of judging him for his faulty actions. However, I knew this attitude was wrong, and as usual, I had to think about what God was teaching me through this lesson. As we all know in our own lives, it is difficult to be constantly around people who are not like us, who believe differently than we do, and to not begin to adopting some of their beliefs and practices. This can be spiritually exhausting, especially if our faith is weak. This is what happened to the nation of Israel.

Thankfully, the story doesn't end there. At the end of his life, Solomon returned to his first love, the Lord God who created the nations for His glory. He wrote the book of Ecclesiastes as a sign of repentance and warned others not do the same.

I can easily trick myself into believing that the sins of these people were exclusive, but I would be in denial of my own ability to fall when God is not the center of my life. It's bad enough that I can read these historical accounts and cast blame for their actions, I must also fight against the lie that I am more educated and biblical in the way I live out my walk with Jesus. Somehow, our culture has grown accustomed to this belief and we live in a way that allows no accountability for our actions. I pray that the Lord would throw a brick at me when that kind of thinking starts to infiltrate my mind.

I'm so thankful for God's faithfulness right now. In addition to reading through the OT, I have been working on memorizing Romans 6. I'm not sure why, but I really feel like it's a chapter I need to have in my head when sin decides to show its ugly face in my life. Every morning, I wake up and pray that God would clear my mind of all other distractions and to focus on Him with utter diligence (memorizing is not one of my strong suits- I think that's why I feel such a strong desire to watch Jesus transform that area of my life). God has already shown himself to be faithful when I'm having a bad day, not wanting to journal or work on my memorization. He has come through in ways I would've never expected.

One area I am really struggling with is not having a job. Just over 2 weeks ago, I was laid off from a wonderful non-profit company that I was working for in East Seattle. I wish I could've stayed, but the company made the decision and sent me packing =( Even though I'm saddened over what happened, I can't help but see how God has been using this time to bring me into deeper relationship with Him. As a result, I have been forced to put all of my effort and trust into His hands, and not rely on my 8-5pm commitment to give me purpose in life. While I'm still diligently looking for work, I am equally striving to learn how to use my time wisely and pursue Him like the people pursued Solomon for His faith and wisdom. I know the Lord is gracious and He will always keep me. He will always pursue me. He will never leave or abandon me. So thankful...so very thankful :)